Bob Ross video game sure to be rife with gratuitous blood, sexual intercourse

If you know me, you know that I am a big, BIG fan of The Joy of Painting, aka the Bob Ross show, featuring the late, afro-sporting, how-to painting instructor. I love the show, but I don't watch it for the painting lesson (or its retro hipness as enjoyed by the Target shopper crowd). I put it on, and within 20 minutes, I am usually fast asleep. And I mean this as a high compliment. His soothing manner is sensory warm milk to me. I'm getting pleasantly drowsy just thinking about it.

So with this thought in mind, it makes perfect sense that Bob Ross, Inc., is now creating a Bob Ross video game based on those shows. Huh. Well, the game is sure to be action-packed, right? How could it not be?


Hi, welcome back. Certainly
glad you could join us today!
Will this game be for one player,
or the interactive multi-player battle mode?

I can picture the children playing the game. "Titanium white, Tommy! Use the titanium white!! HURRY!!! Your woodland cabin doesn't have any snow on its roof! It's incongruous with the rest of your winter scene!! Use the titanium white! No, with the fan brush. THE FAN BRUSH!!!! DAMMIT, TOMMY, YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!"

But hey, if I've learned anything from my hours and hours of Bob Ross viewing, it's that we don't make mistakes. We only have happy accidents. Because this is your world, and you can do with it whatever you wish. So God bless this Bob Ross video game idea, and we'll see you next time, my friend.

Link to announcement on Bob Ross Web site

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