Monday, April 16, 2007

Dana, you're doing a heckuva job

As the death toll speculation rose above 30 for the Virginia Tech atrocity, the White House addressed the issue at its daily news conference. Press Secretary Dana Perino had some very comforting and insightful words for the American people in this awful time of tragedy:

"Certainly, bringing a gun into a school domitory and shooting ... is against the law and something someone should be held accountable for."

Perino: mass murderers should maybe be punished.
You know, if it is determined that laws were broken. let me see if I follow you, Dana. You're saying that someone "should be held accountable" for "bringing a gun into a school dormitory and shooting." Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not go out on any limbs from which we cannot return here. SHOULD be held accountable? Now, we don't want to SHOULD this fella to death, do we? Let's let all the data come in first before we debate the legality of this issue. After all, there's a lot of gray area to consider when, you know, 31 people have been heartlessly gunned down. So we really should take a moment to consider the appropriate course of subsequent action. Was he in accordance with local, state, and federal firearms regulations? Bet you didn't even think about that, did you? Dana Perino did.

Speaking of firearms regulations, Dana goes on to say that "the president believes that there is a right for people to bear arms." Well, I'm glad to hear that. As young adults are still being pulled bleeding from their dorm rooms and, in many cases, hauled off to the coroner's office, now is as good a time as any to re-assert the president's pro-gun stance. We have powerful special interests to consider in this White House. Why, what are YOU considering?

Update: At the very end of this story posted the day after the shooting, Dana is quoted as telling reporters that "today is not the day" to discuss gun control. Oh, I guess THE DAY OF THE SHOOTING must have been that day. Thanks for the clarification, Dana. Your warmth positively oozes out of you. Like an ooze.

Gunman killed after deadly Virginia Tech rampage [CNN]
Bush Said Shocked at College Shootings [AP]

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1 comment:

MSH said...

I'm gonna be lame and comment on my own post...but I just now figured out who Dana reminds me of. She's like the Aryan version of Agent Scully from the X-Files. Either way, probably better that Tony Snow is back in the press secretary role.