Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Grammy Awards should really be called the Awesome Awards

I know I'm a couple days late on this, but I wanted to recap the Grammys really quick. Did I watch them this year? No. But such is the nature of this great show that there's really not much you need to know about Grammy Night in order to fully appreciate its full weight and relevance.

The chief item you need to know to gain said appreciation is that the Red Hot Chili Peppers won for best rock album, among other things. Stadium Arcadium (Don't you just LOVE that clever title? I heard it means "Stadium Arcadium" in ancient Greek) was my personal favorite record as well. One mind, Grammy judges. You see me? One mind.

Have you guys heard our song about California?

All those critics who talked up TV on the Radio and Bob Dylan and so forth can take a hike. Fully formed opinions, my eyeball. Hey, "real music critics." Why don't you go eat some ice cream out of a bowl or something? Snobs.
It was also sweet that Imogen Heap was nominated for best new artist. Hey, she's been around since 1998, but what do you expect the Grammy voters to do, not live under rocks? I don't know about you, but I simply don't feel comfortable asking a group of people to compromise their long-practiced traditions like that.

But forget the music. The Grammys aren't about the music anyway. They're about the celebrities. And who, you ask, dotted the red carpet this year? Well, for starters, do you remember Mr. Pink -- you know, he sang that "I'm comin up" song a few years ago? Of course you do. Yeah, he was there. How about Omarosa? Hard to believe, but she was there. And while you're at it, why don't you throw Brooke Hogan and Kimberly Caldwell into the mix as well? Heavyweights, my friend. Freakin heavyweights.

Anita Baker and Matisyahu? On the
same red carpet? I can die now.

So that about sums it up. Another magical night of stars, reality TV contestants, and, of course, music. That's what it's all about. I can't wait until next year. Word is Britney's already got the inside track. You go, girl!

49th Grammy Awards official online coverage [Yahoo! Music]
Music Review: Return to Cookie Mountain [Entertainment Weekly]
Imogen Heap: i, megaphone [Amazon.com]
- Britney holds crisis talks with record label [Entertainment Wise]

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(photo credits: WireImage.com)

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