Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Another day in the American Idol boys dorm

I think it was some time right after last night's American Idol that I realized every single remaining male contestant reminds me of a stereotypical character from my college dorm days. Perhaps it was during the subsequent episode of House, which starred college radio god Dave Matthews (hey Ashleigh, wanna hear me play "Ants Marching" on the guitar?), that flipped the switch for me. Either way, the connection was made.

So here comes the rundown. Let's see if any of these ring the same bell for you as they do for me.

Blake Lewis: Here's the guy who's just a little too full of himself. The only reason he ever talks to you is to either borrow your toothpaste or tell you that "you need to check out my show this weekend -- and bring as many people as you can!" Eventually you break down and go to one of the's not that great and he pretends he doesn't know you. Oh, and he still listens to 311.

Sundance Head: Does this really need to be articulated? Burn-out, baby! He's got a lot of cool art in his dorm room -- and he made it all himself! -- and he's a fun guy. It's just that he truly can't remember your name. And he smells kinda funny.

Brandon Rogers: Remember the guy who always had a lot of girlfriends, but not in the romantic sense? Not gay, necessarily. Just...I don't know. And he goes home to his parents' house every single weekend.

Sanjaya Malakar: Hey, baby. Wanna dance? Middle Eastern girls are so hottttt.

Chris Richardson: He lives on your floor, but he's never there. Every now and then he'll pop up randomly with a smoking hot chick on his arm like it ain't no thang. You have nothing against him, but you don't really know where he's coming from, either. All you know is he has no trouble with the ladies, and he hasn't declared a major.

Phil Stacey: When people talk about him, there's always a trail-off. "He's a great guy, and I like him, but..." He's cool for the first couple months, and he never "changes," per se. Which is why it's so difficult to explain why you insist that every time he knocks on your door, everyone must lie flat on the floor and wait for him to leave.

Chris Sligh: A fixture at the dorm party. Fun (and funny) guy, with a good head on his shoulders. He plays the part of the cut-up, but once you get to know him he makes no attempt to hide his real talent and ambition for the future. But in the meantime, he's gonna party. Dude.

So there you have it. We'll see who makes it to the finals. But regardless, I feel like these dudes are like my bros. So I'm totally stoked for whatever, buddy. Now let's go pound some brews and play Mario Kart. Sweet.

Eight Men Off [Entertainment Weekly]
- American Idol: Season 6 Contestants []

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Daniel said...

Alright, Harris, let's attach some real names to these "characters." Which one is Gary? Alex? Me? You started down this road, now finish it!

PS - If you'd like, I can bring game cube with Mario Kart to the triumverate...among other things :)

MSH said...

I was thinking back to my real dorm years...before I met you all. You might know a couple of them tho.

FieryDamsel said...

So which one of those guys would you still be friends with now?

Very funny, Scotty!

d. chedwick bryant said...

Sanjaya gets my vote, are we voting?