No One Appreciates Me. At All.: Hands of Steele

Well, the elections are heating up, and in Maryland's Senate race, Republican Michael Steele is the current underdog against Democrat Ben Cardin.

In such a staunchly blue state, that's to be expected. But as a black man, Steele feels he can tip the scales by winning the black vote. So as a way to boost street cred and woo black voters, Steele recruited a few celebrities to help out. So who did he find?

Don King and Mike Tyson. Yes, that's right. And I say, darn straight. Whoever gets the nod from the convicted felon and would-be woman fighter with the face tatoo and the unconvicted felon who sacrificed an entire sport to his own greed, well, I'm going that way, too.

Vote Michael Steele, or I eat your children!

While I wonder if there was some kind of hair-related shipping mix-up with King and Al Sharpton, King is on the stump.

"You want no pie in the sky when you die, you want something sound on the ground when you're around. A vote for Steele is history."

Wow. Lock this thing up right now, because it's over. Cardin didn't know when he got into this that he would be up against, like, rhymes, and what not. But what's that you say? You want more, do you? Never satisfied, I see. Well, get this. Tyson is also stumping hard for Steele, and you'll never guess how they know each other. Give up? Tyson is Steele's ex-brother-in-law. And you thought your family Thanksgivings were grueling. (And once Steele wins, do I see a Maryland boxing license in someone's stocking this year?)

Regardless, the messages are clearly on target so far. This morning, a comedian on a DC urban radio station said:

"The Republicans know black people hate George W. Bush so much that Michael Steele would rather (be endorsed by) a convicted murderer and a convicted rapist than President Bush."