Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Ah, Thanksgiving - 'Tis a time for token pardonings!

Ah, yes. As Thanksgiving Day approaches, the president has rekindled the tradition once again of pardoning one turkey (check out the woman on the left in the photo - is that Harriet Miers???) from the slaughter. This hefty specimen, named Marshmallow, enjoys corn, gobbling, waddling, and pecking people. Let's give it up for Marshmallow!

Since Marshmallow is one of two turkeys pardoned (there was an alternate, named Yam), and there are an estimated 45 million turkeys eaten each Thanksgiving, that's a fairly token pardoning. But that got us here at No One Appreciates Me thinking. And we figured we might take a moment to remember other token pardonings taking place around the world this holiday season.

1) Ted Kennedy pardoning a scotch and soda.

2) GM pardoning an employee.

3) Paula Deen pardoning a stick of butter.

4) President Bush pardoning a country.

5) Kobe Bryant pardoning a hotel worker.

6) Joan Rivers pardoning plastic surgery.

7) Katie Couric pardoning a staffer who forgot the extra latte foam.

6) A hurricane pardoning America.

7) The Pope pardoning a homosexual.

8) ABC pardoning a bad television show.

9) Paris Hilton pardoning a penis.

10) An oil company pardoning a driver.

11) Creationists pardoning a fact.

12) Kate Moss pardoning some cocaine.

13) Tom Cruise pardoning some crack.

And on and on the list goes. Find your own token pardonings - there are a million of them out there. Take care, and have a safe and happy Thanksgiving holiday!

(photo credit: Photo DC)

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