Monday, November 14, 2005

A very special guest blog featuring Bill Walton

Throw it DOWN, big man! Throw it DOWN! I'd like to welcome all of you to my lovely home, as I hold court here on matters of the court. The basketball court. That's right my friends - we're talking hoops! And first and foremost, I believe I would like to express my feeling that the Washington Wizards are not only the best team in the NBA, they are the best team that has ever played basketball on this planet, as evidenced by Saturday's 110-95 win against the defending NBA champion San Antonio Spurs.

The Bullets - or, excuse me, the WIZARDS. What a HORRRRRRIBLE moniker - have a real star now in Gilbert Arenas, who put up 43 on the league's best defense. He was GOLDEN that night, my friends. He can step out and pop the long-range jump shot. He's not afraid to draw contact in the lane, up inside among the sprawling Redwoods! And he can elevate, my friends, and THROW IT DOWN on the bigger man, proving once and for all, that HE is the biggest man, the biggest star, in the National Basketball Association.

And what is so spectacular, so very special about Gilbert Arenas and his band of merry men, is that they are learning how to play together, how to win big games. They got a taste of the ambrosia that is the playoffs last season, and they will be darned if they don't make it back again, and meet with even more success than in the previous campaign. In fact, I predict a clean sweep, my friends. You heard it here first -- the Washington Wizards are not going to lose another game this year. With Arenas and the gladiator Antawn Jamison, and the battle-tested veterans of Chucky Atkins and Antonio Daniels, and the valued role players such as Michael Ruffin, Jared Jeffries and Jarvis Hayes, this basketball team is poised to go undefeated the rest of the way as they bulldoze their way to a title. The glory, the prestige, and the athletic immortality of the Pantheon of Champions awaits them. They will take the mantle from the Spurs, who after this loss have proved themselves to be a HOORRRRRRIBLE basketball team! Just a putrid display of terribility!

But as for this Washington Wizards franchise, they are like a Jerry Garcia Band concert in 1973, for which one cannot help but get the feeling that this is a special thing to witness. One that the league, the nation, and perhaps the entire galaxy has been waiting eons to behold, my friends! So until next time, this is Bill Walton saying throw it DOWN, big fella! Throw it DOWWWN!

(celebrity voice impersonated)


Town E. Dispatch said...

looks like walton's high.


Gary Aiken said...

Bill Walton walked into the Capital Grille last year after the Wiz playoffs while we were eating a big juicy steak.

Town E. Dispatch said...

i also talked to some kids who met bill walton at a phish show one time. i mean, it's hard to miss a seven footer standing in front of you. they said the whole show he shouted "you 'da band phish!" that and high fived EVERBODY.