Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Why must homeless people drink Alize?

On my walk from the train station to the office, I pass through a couple of, shall we say, high-traffic areas. No place truly dangerous, but situated such that there is no shortage of bums in the general neighborhood. As such, these bums often help decorate the tree planters and gutters along the streets with empty alcohol bottles. And hey, that's all right. I've decorated tree planters and gutters with far worse in my day. What's interesting about this is how often I see Alize bottles among the general bum detritus. So often, in fact, that it seems to be a full-blown phenomenon. And one I fail to understand, at that.

I never really feel like the bugs are
completely off of me until the smooth fruit
taste of Alize hits my toothless gums.

By way of background,
Alize is a blend of cognac and various fruit juices. It has been glorified in hip-hop culture since the early 90s. A pint of it costs around $7 - $10 and it is 16 percent alcohol. Just as a data point, let's compare that to, say, Georgi Vodka. A pint of that stuff -- containing more than twice the alcohol -- costs less than a pint of Alize.

So I just don't get it. It's frustrating! Some people want to intervene and help the homeless find housing or employment or health care services. I want to help them with their choice of booze. If they just went for the wood varnish remover they sell in the liquor stores as "gin," they could get so much more bang for their buck. Sure, it's not as stylish, but until the ladies get here, maybe we just stick with the cheap stuff, huh? I mean, Diddy's new year's eve party is still several months away. And the contractor still hasn't shown up with that hot tub you ordered installed in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue. So until all that happens, why not just take it easy? When they're hungry, are they saving up to buy truffles? Fuck no. They're going to McDonald's. At least if the McDonald's near me is any indication. Why does the same not hold true for alcohol? It's a mystery to me.

Basicaly, it's just unfortunate to see the homeless people throwing away their hard-begged cash like that. It's almost like bums don't have a strong sense of money. Huh. Well, until I see some changes, consider this a personal crusade. I want to see more empty Kentucky Gentleman bottles in the tree planters, and fewer Alize bottles. To all the homeless blog readers out there: what do you think? We can do this together, right? If you can't make sensible decisions about your intoxicants, then what CAN you be sensible about?

Alize [Wikipedia]
Georgi Vodka [Garnet Wines and Liquors]

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Brien said...

Haha, this was your best post in a while. I happen to think that Kentucky Gentleman is the best value liquor out there. It's cheap and gets you drunk and if you mix it with coke it's not bad at all.

Jen said...

So you DON'T drink Alize? Is that what you're saying?