Monday, May 14, 2007

Think of all the money they'll save on trash bags

Very, VERRRRRRY exciting news recently out of Japan. Appropos of the Mother's Day season, I thought I would pass it along. And the news is as follows: One Japanese hospital recently set up a new service for the mothers in their community. But not just any mother -- only the mothers who don't actually want the babies they are having. That's right -- it's a drop box for unwanted babies!

Society boldly strides forward with invention
of baby drop-box technology.

This is just an amazing new service. What convenience! Imagine the embarrassing party conversations if you had to keep the baby and, you know, deal with it? But now, the hospital will care for your baby until it's adopted. And noone's the wiser! It's the perfect crime! So to speak!

One hospital official comments: "We started the service but hope it won't be used."

Awesome. That's the same sentiment I expressed when I invented those new bullets that burst and spread the ebola virus once they've entered the body. It's a wicked cool invention, but I would be shocked -- shocked! -- if there were people in the world who would avail themselves of such insidious technology. But hey, that's not for me to judge. I just provide a service, right? I'm just advancing mankind. How mankind chooses to react to said advancement is not my problem. Guns don't kill people, and so forth.

But seriously, I'm sure no one will use it. People who have unwanted babies are a notoriously responsible segment of the population. If they can't go the abortion route and still don't want the pregnancy, I'm sure they'll just shoulder on and adjust their own lives to prepare for this gift they have received. No one will use this drop slot. It just wouldn't be, you know, the right thing to do.

So I share your optimism that no one will use this service, Japanese hospital. Here's hoping. BANG! Ha ha, I just shot you with my ebola bullet. Nah, just kidding. It was just a regular bullet. Might want to put a tourniquet on that. But don't think you'll ever catch me...I'm gonna drop this gun in the anonymous gun drop slot down at the police station. One more gun off the street, right? Boy, is my conscience ever clearer. Have a great day there!

Japan hospital opens drop box for unwanted babies [CNN]

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Jen said...

The title of this entry .... *shakes head*

MSH said...

Do you want your evil chuckle now, or should I e-mail it to you?