Wednesday, January 25, 2006

What the fuck is a "Can Do Attitude" anyway?

I apologize in advance for the rant I'm about to go on, but I have a question. When your boss comes and tells you you need to have a "Can Do Attitude," what the fuck are they talking about? Think about it. As far as I can tell, it's either a passive-aggressive way of ordering underlings to blindly follow all instructions (and fucking whistle while they do it), or, it is entirely meaningless.

Do you have a "Can Do Attitude," Johnson? here's my laundry. Light starch, delicate cycle. Can Do?

a survey from those fun-loving party animals at the American Management Association. Its purpose is to determine whether YOU have a Can Do Attitude. The questions ask things like "are you willing to take on other peoples' grunt work?" and "are you a shameless kiss-ass?" If you answered "yes," then you have a Can Do Attitude! Apparently, being a spineless peon who overwhelms oneself with work is positive, somehow.

Here's a case in point regarding the meaning (or lack thereof) of the phrase itself: I defy you to read this Web site and find something in there that isn't just a bunch of gobbledy gook. The home page touts the site has "An ability-focused website dedicated to helping all people develop a 'can-do' attitude and approach to matter what the obstacles." Gobbledy gook on line two. Gobbledy gook? You have a phone call on line two.

So the next time someone tells you to bring your "Can Do Attitude," tell them to screw off. And when you get fired, you'll be your own person again, and won't you feel so much better! Of course you will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go give my boss her morning boot polish.

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