Friday, July 07, 2006

Cristal will never get one thin dime from this guy

Regarding Jay-Z's recent decision to boycott Cristal champagne. In case you missed it, a suit at the company that makes Cristal, when asked about its popularity in hip-hop culture, said:

"That's a good question, but what can we do? We can't forbid people from buying it. I'm sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business.''

So. This guy is a racist, then. Boycott on.


Looks like a new drink of choice is forthcoming
for the No One Appreciates Me krew...

But now, certain members of the media are saying that it's silly for millionaire rappers to "raise their black fists" over $300-a-bottle champagne, and meanwhile do nothing about (if not encourage) violence, misogyny, poverty, AIDS, and so forth in their hometown black communities.

You know what I like to call these media members and those of a like mind? What I like to call them is, Haters.

But I'm still with you, Jigga man. Add another soldier to your anti-Cris army. The army has to be millions strong now! I'm getting my whole neighborhood to scratch the Cris from their shopping lists. Let me assure you, sir - Cristal will surely feel the sting of THIS guy.

Why, I used to end every night with the same ritual. Back at my townhouse. I'd take a single pink diamond and drop it in a glass of Cris. Then I would serve a glass to each of the bitches around my kitchen table. And the one who found the diamond in her mouth that night would--well, a player never tells. I'll never forget the night Trina almost choked on it. But I wasn't worried. Her gag control is excellent. I'm pretty sure it was Trina. It was either Trina, or some kind of figment of my imagination. Either way, feel my wrath, Cristal! You'll be singing the Chapter 11 blues in short order.

Hyperlinks:
- Robin Givhan
Post story
- Akron Beacon Journal
op-ed from some guy named Malcolm X Abram

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2 comments:

Jason Pyke said...

This reminds me . . . I was supposed to blog about this for a while now. I think the statement was more classist than racist, but then again, those two are almost one in the same in this instance.

MSH said...

Yeah, there was a classist bent to it, like the guy couldn't stand that anyone who even knew a poor person knew what Cristal was. It's tough to sympathize with the Cristal guy - and decidedly not tough to imagine a snotty, thin-mustachioed frenchman gazing down his pince-nez on the latest cultural vulgarities of the West. I'm so never drinking Cris again. From now on, my dead homies are strictly getting Krug.