Monday, July 31, 2006

Mel, you so craaazy!

Hollywood is abuzz this morning. And the news is big, I tells ya. Big news. It involves one of Hollywood's biggest Hollywood superstars: Mel Gibson. Allegedly, after being pulled over for drunk driving, Mel Gibson told a police officer that "the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."

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I like your beard, Mel.

Now. Before I go any further, I want to ask you one question. I'm going to ask it one time and one time only, so listen up. My question to you is, what would we do without Hollywood celebrities to set our national political agenda? It's not a fucking rhetorical question, you fuckin tree hugger. FUCKING ANSWER ME! FUCK!

Seriously. Only intoxicated celebrities have the courage and power to speak this level of truth. Think about it. Think about all the wars and all the difficult situations in the world right now. Hell, think about all the wars and conflicts going back 100 years. Then think about the Jews. Take Vietnam, for example. Helloooo! Where were the Jews during that crisis? See what I'm saying? Or what about World War II? Where the Jews were all like, "we think you should kill us all so that we're better able to, like, oppress everybody and shit." And notice the name of the author of the story hyperlinked below. Sandy Cohen. Sandy COHEN? Eh? Eh? Conspiracy, anyone? See, once you have all the facts, the evidence becomes overwhelming.

Still not convinced? A bit thick-headed over there? Well, as my final stroke, here's a bunch of people who are Jewish:

- Kim Jong-Il
- Osama Bin Laden
- Charles Taylor
- Krusty the Clown
- George W. Bush
- Saddam Hussein
- that Hezbollah guy
- the Israel guy

I'm not going to say anything else. Just look at that list, and decide for yourself. Know what I mean? YOU be the judge. I rest my case.

- Washington Post

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