Thursday, July 20, 2006

DC Council: Technology not only fail-proof, but also nifty!

Crime rates in D.C., just like the mercury, have risen sharply as of late. (You like that opening sentence? Thank you, yeah. I crafted it myself.)

And I'm not afraid to say it, people -- this is bad. So in response to the D.C. killings and robberies -- which, remember, I am on record as saying are bad -- the city council decided to set a curfew for teens and install video cameras in certain neighborhoods. And I, for one, applaud this new arena for Lady Technology. In fact, I say, Huzzah!

Forget those pie-in-the-sky liberals who talk of "improving education" and "creating opportunities and incentives" for kids. I say forget people who call today's parents "woefully overmatched." Our governments can try to help with those things, but when do we see tangible results? One year? Ten years? In contrast, if I vote for cameras, I get cameras in mere weeks, hanging from the phone poles. Teens can't throw rocks at "opportunities," my friend. I want change I can see with my eyes and touch with my hands. Or could if I, you know, went into those neighborhoods.

And here's what else I'm saying: why stop at surveillance cameras? Let's throw MORE technology at the problem. How about laser matrices around every liquor store? How about cars that make really loud noises if someone is breaking into them? (How could THAT not work?) And finally -- and this is a little pet project of mine -- how about a squadron of intelligent robots that resemble humans, but are really killing machines? Or at least, arresting machines. Or why bother arresting people or imposing curfews at all? Why not take a bunch of bricks and mortar, a few miles of razor wire, maybe some of those dog shock collar things, and use those to keep the neighborhoods in line? Know what I mean? We'll bring the jail to the neighborhoods! Instead of the other way around! Save time. And gasoline. I like where my head is at.

- Washington Post

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1 comment:

RogueHistorian said...

(speaking of which, check out this!)