Monday, April 16, 2007

Bulls de-pants, wet-willy hobbled Wizards

Whew. This was a tough one to watch. With Antonio Daniels out with injury along with Gilbert and Caron, the Wizards suffered their worst defeat of the season at home against the Bulls, 101-68.

The Bulls toyed with the Wizards. They gave them an atomic wedgie, then raised the torn underwear up the flagpole and made the Wizards salute it. Man. Being forced to salute your own underwear? It doesn't get any lower than that. But even after the point was made, the Bulls kept at it, experimenting with different lineups (a second line led by Ben Gordon, etc.) that they might have to use in the playoffs. Hey, may as well use the Wizards for some live target practice.

The Bulls collapsed around Antawn Jamison, rightly guessing that most of the active Wizards players were only partially qualified to take an NBA court. Donnell Taylor probably ran the point as best as Donnell Taylor can do it. Jarvis Hayes -- the natural choice to shoulder the offensive load in this game -- turned in a classic Jarvis line: 11 points on 4-14 shooting including 1-4 from three-point range, 3 rebounds, 0 assists, 2 turnovers. After the game, both teams joined together to tie Hayes to his locker with athletic tape. For his part, Hayes chose to pee his pants, and follow it up with some weeping.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Jarvis Hayes sucks.

With two games left and a small lead on the semi-surging Nets, these poor guys risk falling back to the seventh playoff seed, which in all likelihood would mean a first-round meeting with....the Chicago Bulls! At that point, the Wizards would meet the Bulls every morning before school at a designated location to hand over their lunch money for the day. Great. Can't wait until the offseason, when the Bullets will hopefully lift weights obsessively and come out next season ready to go postal. That'd show 'em. In the meantime, keep your heads up, guys. Better to spot incoming rocks that way.

Nothing Much to Shout About [Washington Post]
Daniels Sits After a Hard Landing [Washington Post]
Wizards in playoffs, Jarvis Hayes not very good [No One Appreciates Me]

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