Thursday, April 26, 2007

The NBA playoffs are snoozy

Disappointing night in the NBA playoffs Wednesday. First off, the Wizards lost to the Cavs, 109-102. Nothing spells barnburner like a shitty team playing hard against a good team playing like shit. LeBron ended up with a nice stat line including 27 points, but he needed 22 shots to get there and missed all of this three-point attempts. The Wizards have been valiant throughout, but at this point, I just kind of want the season to be over. When your best player (Jamison) has no hope of checking their fourth-best player (Drew Gooden), then you're up a creek, my friend. Also, congrats to Jarvis Hayes for another big effort -- five big points on 2-13 shooting. You're an animal, Jarvis.

Awww...isn't he cute?

But the disappointments don't end there. The Mavs finally woke up and bulled their way past the Warriors in the second half last night. But the play was pretty uninspiring on both sides. Golden State's offense, even when it's clicking, is pretty ugly (it seems to be based entirely on broken plays). And Dallas is going to continue to flail like a headless chicken as long as presumed league MVP Dirk Nowitski continues to flail, also like that same animal. Dude. Dirk. You gotta post up those smaller defenders. What are you trying to prove?

And finally, the sawdust sandwich that is the San Antonio Spurs evened their series. Yippee. Every German's favorite team (well, maybe except the Mavs due to The Big German) is a model of emotionless efficiency. Tim Duncan has some wicked backboard angles. Electrifying! I'm sick of the holier-than-thou writers who come out every time the Spurs go deep in the playoffs to talk about how, if you don't like the Spurs, you're not a real basketball fan. No, buddy. YOU are not the basketball fan! A fan wants to be entertained. If I want to be dazzled by fundamentals, I'll go to fucking basketball camp. You snooty snot bag.

(l-r) Tony Parker and Tim Duncan warm up before game 2.

But Dirk and Timmaaay and all the other less-than-stellar stars are emblematic of the playoffs and the league right now. There are no real, honest-to-God stars out there. Maybe I'm spoiled by growing up in the golden age of basketball in the 1980s and 1990s, but still. It's bleak. Dirk isn't wired for the playoffs, Wade is still injured, Shaq and Iverson are getting old, Gilbert is sidelined, Duncan is so very very boring, Bosh and Melo are not bona fide stars, and Vince is a punk.

Did I miss anybody? Oh, right. Kobe. Now, he's just a sad situation. Like him or not, you have to feel bad for him, dashing himself against the rocks that are the Phoenix Suns every night. He's on such a mediocre team (largely his doing, but nevertheless) and he's so talented that I get frustrated for him. It's like the gorgeous girl with the psychology degree who waits tables at the diner down the road. Sure, she made some mistakes, but come on.

In the meantime, it looks like the only hope is Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns. Too bad they're going to lose to the Spurs. Hope you like sawdust.

Just Off The Mark [Washington Post]
Mavs still waiting on Dirk [Dallas Morning News]
Spurs' stars join fight [San Antonio Express-News]

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i.p. daily said...

The first round is usually ho-hum, especially since they've gone from 5 games back up to 7, and the best team usually wins. Don't fret yet, there is better basketball to come. The only thing I'm interested in the first round for is to see if the defending champion Miami Heat mans up and beats an inferior Bulls team, or if an entire season of "saving it up" has been wasted because they couldn't get home court advantage.

MSH said...

But you have to admit there was a lot of hype around this first round. Vince returning to Toronto, Suns and Lakers, Mavs and Warriors (which has somewhat lived up so far), and Bulls and Heat. Definitely still plenty of basketball left, but so far it's been pretty ho-hum.