Tuesday, August 22, 2006

John Mark Karr: his aura just screams "teacher"

The confession of supposed JonBenet Ramsey killer John Mark Karr came under more scrutiny today, as relatives cast doubt on key details of his account. At this point, it's pretty obvious that one of two things has happened: either he killed JonBenet, or he lied about killing her to get attention. Either way, not exactly a compelling bullet point for Mr. Resume.

Speaking of resumes, though, to me the key question (besides "why is this still big news after 10 years?" and "why are police still spending taxpayer money on this case?") is, who in God's name hired this guy as a teacher?

You're hired!

I know it happened in Thailand, and to their credit Thai officials are wondering if
maybe their recruiting methods aren't a little lax (you think so, doctor?). But still. Look at him! How, exactly were the Thais testing teachers? A syphillis test? (ba dum bum)

Seriously. What person, in any country, would take one look at this guy and say "I like the cut of his jib," for ANY job, nevermind a job teaching children? Hey, Than, you see that pasty guy in the corner? Big bulbuous head, thousand-mile stare, rocking back and forth and mumbling to himself, wearing a T-shirt that says "I am a sick perverted fuckface?" I don't want to jinx it, but I think we've found Mrs. Smith's replacement, don't you? It's a lock, right? Now where's my jar of peanut butter? I feel like masturbating! In the meantime, yeah, make that guy an offer.

(Update: He has now waived extradition, thus expediting his facing of murder charges. It's almost like he wants to go to jail.)

- Relatives Dispute Karr's Account of Whereabouts [
Washington Post]
- JonBenet exposes Thai teaching flaws [
BBC News]

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