Monday, August 21, 2006

Next Montgomery Gentry album to be titled "I Am A Sham"

Say hello to Troy Lee Gentry. Troy is a country singer, one half of the duo Montgomery Gentry. About a week ago, Troy decided he wanted to go bear hunting. But not just any kind of bear hunting -- the easy kind of bear hunting. So Troy took his bow and arrow, went down to a wildlife preserve in Minnesota, and shot a bear that was already in a cage. He then passed it off as a bear he shot in the wild. But they caught him, and he was slapped with animal cruelty charges.

There is only one word for this. And that word is, courage.

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He also monograms his arrows.
Take that, caged bear, courtesy of TROY!


I'm getting a little choked up just thinking about the kind of position Troy put himself in, to bag The Ultimate Prize: a captive bear. To shoot a caged bear -- with a bow and arrow, no less -- well, this guy deserves some kind of military honor. I'm serious. Troy Lee Gentry is a fucking hero.

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Hey, guys, let me out! Troy Lee Gentry is coming!

But now that we know this about Troy, where does the heroism stop? Do you think he tells club owners to drug a bunch of girls before he gets there? Do you think he stuffs his crotch? Scratches the measurements off his Wranglers? Empties out bottles of Jack and pouches of Redman and then casually strews the containers throughout his hotel room when he knows Hank Williams, Jr., is coming for a visit? Why, his real name might not even be Troy Lee!

I'm tellin you, this is the thinking man's country singer right here. There is no off position on the genius switch, my friends.

Hyperlinks:
- Country singer charged with shooting bear in cage [
Duluth News Tribune]
- Letter refuting charges [
Montgomery Gentry Web site]

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4 comments:

Peter said...

What a lazy piece of shit! He obviously has no problem killing a bear, but it's too much for him to actually go out and hunt for one? Is he that busy? I don't even know who this guy is.

MSH said...

Him and his group won a Country Music Award a few years ago, apparently. Or, maybe he just went to the trophy store and had "World's Greatest Country Singer" engraved on the biggest, bestest trophy he could find.

FieryDamsel said...

So is the country music world boycotting his albums and sending death threats? Or is murdering an innocent life less offensive than being ashamed of the President? Long live the South!

MSH said...

The country music industry says touche to you, fierydamsel. Touche.