Monday, September 11, 2006

Lavar Arrington: the best "almost" player in the NFL

This will be my last NFL post this week (barring anything unforeseen). Well, maybe I'll post about the Redskins tomorrow. But I'll try to keep the subject matter diverse. Or maybe not.

In any case, here are five thoughts on the NFL Week One, cooked down to a fine slurry and encapsulated for easy ingestion.

1) The Texans looked great on Sunday. For one drive.

2) Ready for some inside information?
Reggie Bush - remember the name. You can thank me later. With money, preferably, but it's really up to you.

Ever hear of this guy? You will soon, my will soon.

3) I hate the Eagles, but I hate the Cowboys even more. So it was cool to see "Anti T.O." Donte Stallworth outpace T.O. in an Eagles win versus a Cowboys loss.(Did you notice his number was 18? Opposite of T.O.'s number? Man...what a mindbender.) This will be a great story until Donte remembers that he is a walking hamstring pull.

4) Good God. The Titans are awful.

5) Former Redskin and current Giants LB Lavar Arrington is the best "almost" player in the NFL. I noticed this in his five seasons with the Skins, and now NY fans will notice it, too. Invariably, a game involving Lavar will include repeated utterings of the following phrases:

a) "Quarterback X got the ball away just in time. Lavar Arrington was really bearing down on him. What a freak athlete that guy is. Anyway, first down."

b) "Nice tackle by Linebacker X. Lavar Arrington was also in the vicinity."

c) "If Running Back Y had danced around in the backfield any longer, Lavar Arrington would have gotten to him for a major loss on the play. Arrington got a couple hands on his jersey, but juuuuuust couldn't quite bring him down. Anyway, touchdown."

And that's about it. Overall, I think Lavar has a lot of intellectual and physical charisma. And I don't have a subscription to any fancy-schmancy football stat site. But I would wager dollars to donuts (whatever that means) that Arrington ranks toward the top in categories like Quarterback Hurries, Assisted Tackles, and Helmet Slaps On The Guy Who Actually Made The Play. Oh, and if you want two sacks a game after your team is out of contention, Lavar is your freakin man.
Go Skins tonight. Beat the Vikes!

Owens Can't Lift Cowboys in Opener [Washington Post]
Bush Impressive As Saints Beat Browns [Washington Post]
Stallworth's Stellar Debut Comes Without Attention-Getting Antics [Philadelphia Inquirer]

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