Friday, September 15, 2006

Maryland's craptastic!

During the first quarter of last night's manhandling of my alma mater Maryland Terrapins by the West Virginia Mountaineers, I got a little nostalgic. Because I couldn't help but harken back to my own years on campus, when the Maryland football team -- featuring such luminaries as Ken Mastrole at QB and, er, a bunch of other scrubby guys -- was really bad.

Remember that gimmick play where we
fumble the kickoff? Well now's the time
to use it. NOW!! ARE YOU READY!!

It just goes to show -- the more things change, the more they stay the same. Ahhhh, yes.

All night, the Terps looked like they were moving through water while the Mounties ran circles around them. Particularly tailback Steve Slaton, who rushed for 195 and two touches. This is kind of funny (and by "funny," I mean "maddening"), but Slaton actually wanted to go to Maryland. Terps coach Ralph Friedgen
passed on Slaton because he had already signed so many other backs (one of whom didn't qualify academically and never played a down for the Terps). This amid rumblings that Friedgen has fallen behind in the ACC recruiting battle. Ah, to be a fly on the wall for that decision. I bet it went something like this:

Scout: Well, this kid Slaton, he's fast as all hell, he's a good kid, and he grew up wanting to play for Maryland.

Friedgen: Nah, I think we're good with Lance Ball, thanks. I really like the way he stops running and braces his body before he makes contact with the line.

Scout: I don't know, Fridge...

Friedgen: Scout, let me ask you a question. Who just appeared in an Under Armour commercial?

Scout: Coach, I--


Scout: You, coach.


Scout: YOU, coach!

Friedgen: Thank you. Now go sign Lance Ball. And be quick about it - I don't want Northeastern Delaware Technical College swooping in there and snapping him up.

Okay, I'm sure it was more complicated than that, and it's easy to pick on someone in hindsight. I still love the Fridge, too, and West Virginia is a legitimately tough team this year. But come on -- what a bad miss on Slaton, and an all-around turtle egg laying under the glare of the ESPN lights last night. Between the Terps and
the Redskins, not shaping up as yet to be a good football season around the NOAM household.

(P.S. Big ups to Aaron...the wife said she saw you on the TV last night.)

Terps Cooked in Fifteen Minutes [Washington Post]
Friedgen: He missed on Slaton [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

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