Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Etan Thomas, Brendon Haywood set record for wussiest fight ever between two NBA centers

Well, the cat is out of the bag. And boy is the fur flying! Dreadlocked slam poet and new Wizards starting center Etan Thomas is a little less dreadlocked today after getting in a fight with Brendan Haywood, the new Wizards benchwarming center and reining NBA's Softest Man. This is the duo's second time trading slaps and taunting finger wags. The team was trying to keep this one private, but it's out in the open now. Meow, boys!

You're lucky they was holdin me back, Etan. Ya hurd?

Apparently, this whole thing got started when Haywood's agent said the decision to bench his client and start Thomas was completely personal, and had nothing to do with basketball abilities (such as, for example, Haywood's tendency to break down crying when the lane gets too clogged). Well, Thomas wasn't gonna have that, girlfriend. So he reacted in the best way he knows how - he left a scathing freeverse poem in Haywood's locker.

The next morning, Haywood was all like "that rhyming couplet in the third stanza was totally forced, dog." And Thomas was like "I'd like to see you come up with a decent rhyme for 'Philistine'," and Haywood, who is much tougher when he's fighting teammates and knows the coaches are close by to break up the fight, was like "and don't be callin me no Philistine no more." And that's when Thomas punched him. Haywood then body-slammed Thomas to the ground, ripping out two dreadlocks (really) in the process. No word on the number of fingernails broken or perfectly good pairs of hose ruined in the fracas.

Now, there are rumors that Haywood wants to be traded. And I say, don't let the door hit you on the way out. Bigs are rare, true, but Thomas has played well so far in this admittedly early season, and if we can get something in return for Haywood, Ernie Grunfeld should absolutey pull the trigger. After all, I hear the Comets could use a big...here's hoping they return the Wizards' calls.

Centers Thomas, Haywood Reportedly in Recent Fight [Washington Post]

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