Exciting news for Washington area residents. And by "exciting," I mean "boozy." So yes. Boozy news coming your way. And that news is as follows. We may soon get to drink as our proud ancestors once did, as Mount Vernon (that place where once George Washington done lived) may soon begin selling whiskey distilled following the personal recipe of our nation's founding father.
Now see, this is how you do it. You want to get people into history, you booze them up! If Va. Governor Tim Kaine goes ahead and approves this, I think Mount Vernon could become a trendsetter in historical tourism. I understand that Boston patriot Samuel Adams was quite a beer maker. Yes, it's true. Why not revive that old tradition? This could go global, too. Egypt could start marketing whatever it is ancient Egyptians used to intoxicate themselves. It probably involved fermented slave brains or something, but you know what? If you don't try new things, what kind of a life are you leading? That's what.
Finally, Mount Vernon will now be part of the American Whiskey Trail, which runs through distilling sites in New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Kentucky, and Tennessee. Imagine that foot traffic. A bunch of stumbly-wumbly hillbillies descending on Mount Vernon for they history lesson. Generalizations aside, I really see no downside to this. The Whiskey Trail should be traveled by all people. Just follow the orange vomit road!
I'll be seeing you soon, Mount Vernon. And you better have my Hoe Cakes ready, if you know what I mean. We'll have to crash in George's old bed, but you won't mind. Be a fuckin friend, man. You don't know me.
- Mount Vernon May Be Able To Sell Whiskey [WTOP]
Technorati tags: whiskey, education, humor, George Washington, Mount Vernon, rye, vomiting
Photo credit: Mount Vernon