Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Exxon: Our friend in Science

Last week was a banner week for Exxon Mobil. First came the news that Exxon again made record-setting amounts of money last year due largely to the higher gas prices of late. But here's the real masterstroke -- after the big climate change study came out, in which hundreds of scientists said global warming was real and almost certainly caused by humans, the British newspaper The Guardian reported Exxon circulated a memo to scientists offering up to $10,000 if they publicly questioned the report or global warming in general.

Exxon leads climate change talks with environmentalists.

See, this is how you advance science, people. Exxon can tell the true scientists from the fake scientists with a simple test. It's called the Salem Scientist Trial. And they have a long tradition of leaders in this area. The ones who take the money and decry global warming are the real scientists. The ones who do not take the money are communist tree hugging fakes. The ones who take the money should do TV spots on beaches, sipping drinks and saying things like "global warming sounds awfully good to me!" That, after all, is the informed position. Right, Exxon? Don't hate because little old Exxon is just doing its part to get the real story out there, around the usual liberal media gatekeepers. I hate those guys. So kudos to Exxon! Kudos! Your committment to the advancement of knowledge will shine like a beacon -- a properly oil-burning beacon -- forever. Or until the oil runs out. Or until a planetary catastrophe. But it's all good, whatevs.

Higher Oil Prices Help Exxon Again Set Record Profit [Washington Post]
Scientists offered cash to dispute climate study [UK Guardian Unlimited]
Humans Faulted for Global Warming: International Panel Of Scientists Sounds Dire Alarm [Washington Post]

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