Stunning -- STUNNING -- news that Anna Nicole Smith has died. She had been a wreck for almost 10 years now, but I guess we're all supposed to pretend like we're really upset, that she was taken away from us too soon, and what have you. So I'll go ahead and say a few words. Anna? We're all gona miss you. Why? Well, for one reason, you truly were hot at the beginning, before you married that rich decrepit oil guy for his money. And then you made a lot of people laugh on your reality show. Albeit unintentionally.
So long, Anna Nicole Smith. You were, uh. Yeah.
Reports are that paramedics said she was "unresponsive" at the scene. But I never thought of Anna Nicole as the responsive type to begin with. Are you sure she wasn't just, you know, really fucked up? I don't know what you think, but I think that would not have been a first for her. Am I right?
But on the whole, it really is sad when anyone dies. And she seemed pretty miserable. So there you go. Just think happy thoughts, and we'll get through this together. Just remember: she's with Howard now.
- Anna Nicole Smith Dies [CNN]
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