For all the single guys (or once-single guys), did you ever have a night when you found a cute girl, you hit it off, you talked all night, suggestive comments are made, suggestive looks proffered, but then when it's money time, she takes evasive action and won't give up the digits? I know, I know--it's never happened to YOU before, you big pimp. But you understand. Well, that's what the winter weather is doing to us Greater Washingtonians right now.
You don't wanna mess with that...she just likes drama...
The local weather forecast for today shows light a.m. snow, but the surface temperature is 34 -- two measly fucking degrees colder than it needs to be to for it to stick to roads. Then later today -- just in time for the evening commute -- they're calling for sleet and freezing rain, which overnight is then all supposed to freeze, but perhaps not quite enough for conditions to be unmitigatably treacherous, because there is regular rain predicted for Wednesday morning which could turn a lot of it to slush.
So let me ask you, Lady Winter. Is it too damn much for you to just dump some snow/ice on us so we can get a day off already? You're doing every thing you can to make things as difficult as possible without having to dole out the payday. Would it kill you to hook us up just a little? What is your fucking problem? You just like to cause problems? Where was all this precipitation last week, when I had to trudge to work in below-zero wind chills, but there was nary a cloud in the robin's egg blue fucking sky? And what about those poor people in upstate New York who got like five thousand feet? You can't share the wealth a little bit? What's the major malfunction? You're a meterological prick tease, that's what. Now give us time off, or I'm telling all my friends about you.
- Utility Crews on High Alert for Later Today [Washington Post]
- This Cold Weather is Freakin Killing Me [No One Appreciates Me]
- New Yorkers dig out while another storm looms [CNN]
Technorati tags: weather, winter, snow, Washington, D.C.