Friday, April 21, 2006

Have you ever seen Lee Raymond and Satan in the same room together? Think about it.

The black-light conspiracy theorists of the world are always pointing to a little cadre of evil white men who control world affairs like puppets on a string. And if those contentions have any basis in fact, White Man #1 may have to be retiring Exxon Mobil CEO Lee Raymond.

Mr. Raymond...what's happening to you...he's changing right before our eyes...AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

He has been villified both for his monstrous $400 million retirement package and his assertion that global warming doesn't exist, a contention which for all intents and purposes has been disproved by, you know, information. Of course, Raymond's stance is that the haters just don't understand. You see, the critics don't bother him, because they are stupid! How very deceptive and clever of you, Lee. Your survival instincts are almost...animalistic.

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Gary Aiken said...

Mr. Raymond is an oil industry veteran who has been around a long, long time. He has guided Exxon Mobile through the years with conservativism and good corporate governance. He remembers when oil was under $20 a barrel and Houston became a ghost town. He deserves every bit of the $400 million the compensation committee gave him because of the many Billions of dollars he has made for investors in his company over the past 20 years. Screw the critics, they're just jealous.

MSH said...

I wish I could place bets in Vegas on things like "Gary Aiken will write an utterly humorless comment on this post defending Lee Raymond as if he were George Washington."

Want to know why I wish that? Because I'd be a rich, rich man right about now. Like, Lee Raymond rich.

Now let's all pat each other on the back, light up these cigars, and gobble at each other like demented turkeys. TO INDUSTRY!!!!

ombudsman said...

TO INDUSTRY! Where anything is justified by money!