Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Thomas Gang

The New York Knicks announced today that General Manager Isiah Thomas - widely regarded as a failure as a coach or general manager with three different NBA teams and as president of the now-defunct Continental Basketball Association - will be the Knicks' head coach AND GM.

I, for one, applaud the Knicks for making this move. Because they are poised on the brink of a great opportunity, and they know it. With this move, the Knicks are saying, "we embrace this moment in history." The team can and should now aggressively pursue new depths of basketball ineptitude.

Isiah Thomas greets his millions of
adoring fans at the news conference at
which he triumphantly announced himself
as the Knicks' new head coach. Huzzah!

A starting lineup featuring five power forwards? Trading three draft picks for magic beans? (Or, you know, they don't have to be magic. Pintos are cool, too.) Fistfights on the bench? Fan revolts? A zero-win season? Multiple homicides? These are just some of the cards in play now that Isiah Thomas has full rein in the Big Apple. The sky is the limit.

I repeat. The. Sky. Is. The. Limit.

Isiah loves Winnie's upside. We want him
as the new small forward for The Thomas Gang.
Would you take Steve Francis and
three draft picks for him?

And I say to Thomas, screw all the naysayers. They just don't know how to dream big. Isiah, I understand that you want to go down in history as the WORST coach and GM in the entire history of organized sports. Cut and dried. That is it. So Godspeed, Isiah. And remember - there's only one gang you need to belong to. And that's
the Thomas gang.

- Washington Post
- Hater Skip Bayless
drinks some Thomas Haterade

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(Photo credit: The Associated Press)

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