Monday, June 12, 2006

Yo, I don't know what "Stu Scott" means exactly, but it basically means "fucking idiot"

So I'm watching the NBA Finals last night, and they're doing the requisite "Mavs owner Mark Cuban is just a really rich fan and look at all the cool luxuries he put in the locker rooms" story. The story is being "handled" by ESPN SportsCenter personality Stuart Scott.

Stu got to the exciting part about the chairs the Mavs players sit on during the game, and said they were "ergonomic." He then went on a classic Stu Scott tangent. I quote:

"The chairs are ergonomic. I don't know what 'ergonomic' means. I can't even spell it. I'd be out of the Scripps [Howard] Spelling Bee if they gave me that word. Seriously. But basically, it means 'for really big, really tall guys who want to be really, really soft.'"

End of quote.

Of course, as anyone who has worked in an office over the last five years and has any semblance of mental capacities knows, "ergonomic" just means that something is designed to fit your body and increase comfort. The dictionary defines "ergonomics" as "the applied science of equipment design in order to reduce operate fatigue and discomfort." I don't know how Stuart Scott doesn't know this. Maybe he's too busy mining outdated rap songs for new SportsCenter catch phrases. Either way, mad props, Stu! You're making us all get jiggy with laughter. And how you got that job? It's beyond me, dog. You must have evidence of some OPP going on. Word up!


I.P. Daily said...

That's funny, I was under the impression Stuart Scott was defined as:

stuartscott - (n.) a b-list television broadcaster who gets hit in the eye with a football at Jets training camp causing that person to have a lazy eye

At least that's what they taught me at ESPN U. Is that even on the air anymore?

Gary Aiken said...

My least fav Stu Scott moment of the finals is where he's interviewing Terry's mom, and she obviously just wants to watch the friggin' game and he won't stop with the borderline rude questions.
Way to allienate someone's mom while there's a basketball game going on, dude.