Cruise as Christ: I was way ahead of the curve on this one

Ever since the 1988 cinematic landmark Cocktail, Tom Cruise has been my own personal Messiah. My pathway out of this terrestrial drudgery. Now, it looks like the rest of the world is catching up. It's about time, world. You've been missing out.


An evening with Christ -- March 21-23 at the
Bradenton Convention Center. Get your tickets today!!!

According to the highly reputable British tabloid The Sun (which is where I get all my news when I am in Londontowne), the powers that be in the Scientology world have anointed Cruise as a Christ figure for their awesome alien-based religion, a man who will spread the word of Thetan rehabilitation far and wide, as spores upon the wind.

And yea, verily will Tom Cruise come unto us, and he will spread the Tech of the Dianetics, and we will walk in his light and purge our Engrams as together we resolutely ascend The Gradient. And now, truly does he say unto you, will we be enjoined of our E-meters and be glad in them all the days of our lives. Praise be to whatever it is that they praise. A-men.

(P.S. Thanks to BK for the tip.)

Hyperlink:
- Bizarre: Cruise "is Christ" of Scientology [The Sun]

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