Thursday, January 04, 2007

A very special guest post featuring Bill Walton

Throw it DOWN, big man, throw it DOWN! Ah, friends and countrymen, before I begin this my first guest post of the still fledgling NBA season, I would like to extend heartfelt wishes for a happy new year to all of you out there in what I call cyberspace. You are warriors of the counterculture, and for that, I salute you.

But on to a different kind of warrior -- the glorious sun-warriors of the hardwood.

Today, I think I -- and all of us, as a global community -- would be remiss if we did not take a moment to honor Planet Earth's current number one basketball warrior, Washington's Wizard Gilbert Arenas. After his recent string of mesmerizing performances, including a masterful 60-point explosion against the Lakers and last night's stirring last-second conquering of the Milwaukee Buccaneers that contained a lot of phenomenal swag, I think it is safe to say, without hyperbole, that Gilbert Arenas is not only the MVP of the NBA, but is, and always will be, the MVP of all humanity.

Oh, I hear you talking, Marv. You favor The Big German, Dirk Nowitzki, or The Manchild LeBron James. Both beautiful gladiators in their own right, I will grant you, but come on. What are you theenkeen? Compared to Arenas, they remind me of the body stains that graced my bedsheets after a night of debauchery in my old UCLA days (please don't tell my old legendary Coach John Wooden, who remains a close personal friend of mine). For Gilbert has every tool to make any day a good one, of sunshine. He can step out and pop the long-range jump shot. He can penetrate to create bounce passes and rebounds for himself and his teammates among the tall trees, and he can elevate over them all to THROW IT DOWN against the bigger man, proving once again that is the biggest man -- of them all -- in the National Basketball Association, and the world. There is talk of so-called eccentricity, but I embrace those who march to the beat of their own drum, as I have done, quite literally, for all these many years, especially as a guest drummer for the Grateful Dead, the most important band in music history.

But that is another story for another day. Ever since Jerry Garcia and others of his ilk departed this earthly plain so long ago, we as a population have yearned for a new savior. And after Mighty Arenas carries his Warlocks to glory, the world will know their new messiah is come.
And until next time, this is Bill Walton, reminding you to throw it DOWN, big fella. THROW IT DOOOOOWWWWWN!!!!!!!

My Sleek Personal Home Page []
Arenas's Timing Is Impeccable in Victory [Washington Post]
Agent Zero Goes for 60 []
- Arenas Apologizes for Team USA vent, thins air in house []
- "My Swag Was Phenomenal" [D.C. Sports Bog]

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