As the meat of Maryland's basketball season begins tonight when Miami comes to Comcast Center, it should be a time of excitement. And it is. But only because of other Maryland news--former Terp baller Travis Garrison avoided jail time.
If you'll recall, Garrison was arrested for hitting a woman in a bar. Not only did he avoid jail time, he avoided being registered as a sex offender as well. Woo-Hoo! So that's good news. Thanks to the leniency, Garrison helps preserve the Maryland basketball team's no-registered-sex-offender streak. Hey, don't scoff at that. That's a good streak. I would say he kept the team's noone-in-prison streak alive, too. But, you know, there's Lonny Baxter.
So embarrassment has been avoided--at least, off the court. On the court, the torrent of Garrison-related embarrassment continues. He somehow conned the CBA's Great Falls (the ones in Montana, not Maryland and Virginia) Explorers into giving him a contract. That is one proud basketball state.
Garrison (fourth from right, the one shrinking away from the play)
helps carry on the tradition of Montana basketball.
But I have to give the Explorers props. I wouldn't give Travis Garrison a contract if I was the coach in Teen Wolf and just found out Boof gave Jason Bateman the clap.
Why? Because Travis Garrison is a bitch. Those are the ones who hit women - the bitches. And his play backed it up. He was a bitch! A bitch! Bitch! Ah, that feels good. Whenever anyone is playing at Maryland, it's verboten in some goody-two-shoes circles to disparage "the kids." Hey, man, be nice! He wears the Maryland uniform! And he's just a kid. Stop throwing that women's lingerie at him! Well, he doesn't wear the uniform anymore now, does he? Travis, I am disowning you. I disavow any knowledge of your time at Maryland. It never happened. And if you don't believe me, check the NCAA March Madness rosters. Do I see your name anywhere on that, Travis? Yeah, no. I rest my case.
- Judge Tapers Garrison's Sentence [Washington Post]
- Terrapins Are On Guard Against Miami [Washington Post]
- Baxter Receives Amazingly Quick Justice [Deadspin]
- Great Falls Explorers [CBA]
Technorati tags: Travis Garrison, Maryland basketball, bitches, Great Falls Explorers