Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Wait, did Congress just do something?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Naaaaaaaaahhhhh, wait, wait, wait. What just happened here. I think you kinda lost me for a second there, Washington Post. Are you trying to tell me that BOTH HOUSES OF CONGRESS have passed a bill on a major issue? I don't even know what the issue is -- Iraq? Forever stamps? They want to make Toucan Sam the national bird? Whatever. But you are trying to tell me that both houses actually passed something? Speak American again, eggheads. This does not compute. So I tell you what -- I'm going to be in my spaceship. Okay? You call me when you're ready again to write articles like a sane newspaper.

Are you talking about the same Congress who hasn't passed a freaking budget yet for the fiscal year we are currently in because they can't agree on what they ate for breakfast this morning? The same Congress led by the scattershot Democrats, who wish to feed the multitudes with five loaves and fishes? Hey, sounds great. Meanwhile, I'm just going to tap this rock with my staff here and get the Grey Goose flowing out of it. Because you're making me need a drink.

But you're honestly saying this bill soon go to the President's desk?!?!?!? Wait, he's not going to sign it, is he?
Oh, noooooo, nooooo, nooooo. See, now you're starting to make sense again. I thought you were going to tell me they were going to, you know, fulfill the legislative process. All that how-a-bill-becomes a law hooey from cartoon land.

Wake up, Polyanna. You almost had yourself a beautiful little dream there. As for me, I'm going back to Cynical Island. You know. I have a bungalow there. It's an island in the Skeptical Sea? I live in the Valley of Hopelessness? The views suck, but for now, it's pretty daggone comfortable.

Senate Signals Support for Iraq Timeline [Washington Post]
Bush: House Timetable Will Not Survive Veto [NPR]

Technorati tags:
, ,

No comments: