Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Dear women who pretend not to be dieting

Have you ever gone out to eat with friends or co-workers, and the attractive girl in the bunch gets her food and starts making proclamations like "Oh my God, this is SO good," and "I eat this stuff all the time, I'm totally hooked," and so on?

Naturally, you look down at her plate to see what all the fuss is about...only to discover a pile of damp lettuce.

So I'm calling bullshit, ladies. You don't actually like that stuff - you're just trying to stay thin to attract potential mates! So let's disentangle ourselves from this web of lies, shall we?

Oh my God...I can't
stop eating these leaves!
What DO they put in them? I am SUCH a pig right now....

I realize there's a lot of pressure on women (and everyone, for that matter) to look good and be thin. I'm not debating or denying that. What I am taking issue with is people who eat celery and then talk incessantly about how much they just looooooove celery. As if this was something they'd eat if french fries suddenly had no calories. Please. I mean, if you're going to eat healthy, great! Just stop babbling about how much you love it. Who are you trying to convince?

No, no, Madison. You have to

pretend to like it! Like big sis!

One time - just one time - I want to hear someone admit they're only eating healthy to stay skinny, and that it sucks, but hey, that's our society. Just admit what you're doing. Isn't that the first step? To something?

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Calenture said...

I'm probably not your intended reader...um, no, take no notice of the avatar...I mean, being male and not overweight. So the pressure ain't on me to stay slim.

I just intend to put pressure on other people, because they think they can escape their wives for an evening, and smoke at my house, and I just gave up, damnit.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find any exhibitionist picture on MySpace. Shucks!

MSH said...

Whoops...I guess people can't see those Myspace photos. So I took that part out. But trust me, they're on there, and they're not hard to find.

I have no intended readers. I don't have readers of any kind, for the most part. But thanks for dropping by and venting with me today.