Let's get right to the action. Today's winner is former NBA player and current ESPN C-list basketball analyst Hubert Davis! Hubert was helping to call the University of Maryland Terrapins' first-round NIT game last Saturday against the Manhattan Jaspers. Toward the end of the game, Hubert, when the play-by-play man joked about you suiting up and entering the game, you responded that you could not, for you would "probul" sprain your knee. We went to the judges, and the judges put their heads together, and Hubert Davis, THAT'S NOT A WORD!
Hubert Davis...defenseless against diction!
Not only is "probul" not a word, but you don't seem to have any discernible broadcasting skills at all! I hate to bust on a local boy (Hubert hails from Burke) but it seems as if you glad-handed your way into this job without receiving any formal training whatsoever! Cases in point: your baffling insistence on referring to Maryland forward Nik Caner-Medley as "Nik Carter Medley" all game long, your mention of Manhattan's recent win over "Farley Dickerson" (not FAIRleigh DickINson), your assertion that Maryland had "a real gripe" at not being included in the NCAA tournament as they trailed the Jaspers by 12 late in the second half, and finally, your mantra-like repetition of one and only one statistic all game. We all understand that "Mike Jones shoots 41 percent from three-point land"! Got anything else? Apparently not!
So for these transgressions, as your prize we're sending you back to the minors, Hubert. That's right - an all-expenses-paid trip to Connecticut School of Broadcasting. With 13 campus locations around the East Coast and Midwest, there's a school conveniently located to you, and you'll "learn by doing" with some semi-state-of-the-art equipment and even a course on fact-finding and terminology!
Good luck to you, Hubert. And we'll see YOU next time on That's Not A Word!