American Idol + Wizards playoff = I was a couch potato last night

Due to a standing engagement that just ended, and which kept me busy each of the last eight Tuesday evenings, I had a chance to watch American Idol last night for the first time in a while. Flipping between that and the Wizards' playoff game made it a very promising television evening.

In the end, though, both shows felt a little like drinking a glass of soda that sat out overnight. A flat, tepid experience that was once good, and would have remained good if some basic efforts had been made. But they weren't.

In the game, neither the Cavs nor the Wiz had much pop. But the Wiz scrapped to overcome a big early deficit, and screwed down on LeBron defensively.


Is that Brendan Haywood, playing tough D? When
are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse coming?

Basically, they showed guts they don't normally show, and ground out enough free throws and stops to earn the W. Certainly not much fun to watch, but still a good time.

Not sure if I can say the same for American Idol.


Unfortunately, the singing was not quite so buoyant.

First of all, Paul Abdul is nearly unwatchable at this point. Crying through her makeup, blowing snot bubbles, standing up to clap wildly for no reason, speaking over her fellow judges, feuding with Ryan, repeatedly shouting out non-sequitur phrases like "We love you all, I love you, we love me, you love you." This was just some of her magic. I know this subject has been covered, but jeez - not seeing the show in eight weeks and coming back to THAT - quite the eye opener. I once was a first-hand witness to someone making that kind of scene. But he didn't have a home.

The performances were a little dysfunctional, too. Kellie Pickler sang an entirely emotionless "Unchained Melody." Zzzzzz. Kellie wouldn't recognize nuance if it slapped her across the mouth. Although she's still hot, so that's spiffy.

(From the Predictable Conversation Department: at a party Saturday night, opinions on Pickler split entirely along gender lines. While everyone agreed she's mentally challenged, the girls said she was unattractive and a bad singer, while the guys muttered things like "There's just something about her" and "I think she has real potential." Very humorous.)


Guys: "She has an indefinable quality--I can't quite put my finger on it."


Girls: "Hi! I'm stupid, annoying, ugly, untalented Kellie Pickler!"

But to me, Pickler was not the evening's lowlight. For that, I look to the alleged Bad Boy Rocker of the group, Chris Daughtry. I know everyone loves him, but come on. If the Bad Boy Rocker on your show earnestly covers a Bryan Adams tune, then you are watching a lame show. I'm sorry, but Chris and his designer sideburns have all the heart and soul of a can opener. "Putting your all" into a Bryan Adams song is like lighting candles before having sex with a donkey. It's still wrong, everyone knows what you're doing, and no amount of "feeling" is gonna convince us (or you) that it's okay. At least Bo Bice sang some decent rock standards.

All the rest of the evening's performances were just various shades of okay. Pretty lackluster on the whole. And sorry -- I'm not going to pretend to care about Andrea Bocelli, the guest trainer or whatever he was. Blah.

I'd be shocked if Kellie wasn't toast after tonight. It was clear last night that she's packing butter knives in a pistol fight. So long, hon. Here - you can take this half a glass of flat soda with you. I wasn't gonna drink it anyway.

(Wizards photo credit: Gregory Shamus / Getty Images; Katherine McPhee photo credit: Wizbang)

Links:

Washington Post story link on Wizards win

Washington Post story link to Michael Wilbon column

Washington Post story link on last night's American Idol

Philly Burbs story link on Paula Abdul's issues

Technorati tags: American Idol, NBA Playoffs, Television, Entertainment, Kellie Pickler, Chris Daughtry, couch potato