Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Who authorized a Michelle Branch side project?

In a bold stroke of content provider repositioning, former chanteuse of pensive teen pop Michelle Branch (30% more thoughtful than Britney, 10% less pensive than Avril) has partnered up with some hot model chick to form The Wreckers, a country-rock duo with a message. Think the Dixie Chicks meet Faith Hill meets Michelle Branch meets Faith Hill meets Ashlee Simpson meets the Dixie Chicks.


These ladies have been beaten down by the world. And
they've got some downhome yarns to spin about it.

This is all just awesome. Michelle Branch singing those poppy ballads is so 1999 it makes me want to take a shower. So I'm glad she listened to the recording executives who wanted her to team with her "best friend" for this awesome new brand. Do your thing, girlfriend! Inside sources say these two "best friends" met for, like, two whole hours before entering the recording studio. And as they threw Chee-tos at the two fat girls who were laying down the actual album vocals, their chemistry as performers really jelled.


Uncle Billy taught the girls to drive in this truck. "Uncle Billy"
here meaning "image consultants," and "drive in this truck"
here meaning "pose on the truck provocatively yet tastefully
in accordance with focus group research."

The Wreckers' debut album, available in Wal-Mart stores May 23 (Ohmygodthat'stoday!), tells gritty tales of heartbreak, being misunderstood, and being judged on one's appearance - three of the biggest problems facing today's hot, rich 19-year-olds. Or, at least, their demographically calibrated potential consumer base. And at the end of those blue-collar workdays as cocktail waitresses or overworked single moms or whatever real-life experience inspired these gritty new songs, isn't that what it's all about? Consumer bases?

So do yourself a favor, and support this latest repositioning effort. It's always a special moment in someone's career. I couldn't let it pass unnoticed.

(Photo Credit: The Wreckers)


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1 comment:

Town E. Dispatch said...

what i think is hilarious is that this comes hot on the heels of norah jones' country project 'the little willies'.

what's next? the 'fiona apple honky-tonk allstars'?